He Proposed Again!

It was our 3rd day in Maui when he popped the big question, "Will you marry me, again?" At first I thought he was kidding around as usual. But I quickly realized he was serious. "Are you serious?", I said. "Yes", he replied..."I want to know if you will marry me, again." After it sunk in a minute, I said, "Yes. Yes, of course I will!" So, we've decided on a small ceremony, reception, and honeymoon. We haven't set the date, yet. I know we want it to be next year, but not on the date of our first wedding. Now, after the renewal of our vows, we'll be able to start all over. When people ask us how long we've been married, we can say 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, etc. Or not. It will be our choice. LOL

Lunch With Dru

This is Dru, my Best Best Best Girlfriend! I am so proud of her. I told you we are doing The 3-Hour Diet together...didn't I? Well, we are and she has lost 8 pounds in 3 weeks. She had to start 2 weeks after me, because she was in the middle of some needed travel. I got the 1.5 pounds I gained in Maui back off, and now I'm at a total of 18 pounds lost!

We met at my office yesterday at 11:30 AM, so I could get prepared for my 2:30 and on clients. I gave her the souvenirs I brought her back from Hawaii. After taking pictures and goofing around, we were sitting in The Cheesecake Factory on Northwest Hwy. by 12:30.

Dru had the pork chop dinner, and I had salmon. We were sitting there laughing, and still amazed at being able to eat what we wanted and still lose the weight. We said the words awesome, incredible, and unbelievable more than once.

This is what was so funny...Dru bought me my own copy of one of Jorge Cruise's 8 Minutes In The Morning workout series that she had been doing while I was on vacation. Now, this is back at the office (before lunch). So she stands up to show me one of the exercise moves. She's trying to coordinate the movement of her hands, waist, and butt. She looked so cute as she threw up both her hands and said, "Well, it was something like that!"

I can tell you one thing about our relationship, we both put out equal energy. No one person is carrying the relationship. If it gets unbalanced, we talk about it and make adjustments. Life is too short for anything else.

My Pick For 2009

Although I have recommended each of the wonderful books on the Recommended Reading Carousel to the top right of this blog over the years, this is the book I have recommended to my clients the most this year. The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick is a book that has blessed so many of my clients in their relationship. I was lead, by my Spirit, to purchase 7 copies of The Love Dare. I then prayed for wisdom in handing them out to the right clients. I know the books are in the right hands. This is a comment from one of my clients: "I don't know what that book you gave her is telling her to do! Whatever it is... it works and I'm happy."

You can find this book and others I have recommended on the top carousel. Just push and hold the arrow to rotate the selection. Then you can click on the book for more information. The second carousel showcase the Hot New Releases. Have fun!

Adjusting

I tell you, it has been an adjustment returning from Maui. Now I understand what was wrong with me after we returned from Waikiki in 1988. When we married on April 16, 1977 at the ages of 19 and 20, we could not afford a honeymoon. The funny thing is, we didn't care. It really wasn't important to us. But in 1988 when Chris made President's Club for his sales at IBM, he turned the second half of his trip into our first honeymoon. He flew from San Diego. We met in Los Angeles, and flew to Waikiki from there. It was 4 days and 3 nights, and I was so excited to be in Hawaii! But, when our honeymoon was over, I was so down...I felt as if I had fallen into some type of depression for a good week, or so. I thought it was due to our stay in Hawaii being so short, after all the anticipation of going.

Because of that experience, and never wanting to feel that way again, I insisted on longer vacations. When we planned our first cruise in 1999 to the Eastern Caribbeans, we turned a 7 day cruise into 9 days. The two extra days we added were spent in Puerto Rico before boarding Royal Caribbeans Cruise Line.

Well, guess what? It was perfect! No sadness. No let down. I thought I had found the cure! But what I had not realized at the time was the difference in the time zones. There's only an hour difference in Texas and the Caribbeans. And because of our Day Light Savings Time, we were there when the time was the same in both places.

After coming back from Maui, I experienced those same feelings I had in 1988. But now I realize those feelings are the result of jet lag from the 5 hour time difference, and not from disappointment. This realization makes all the difference in the world. I am being more patient with myself as my body and mind readjusts to Central Standard Time.

The next time we vacation in Hawaii, I will give myself at least two days to recover before seeing my clients.

Me: No LOL
Chris: "A lesson learned."

Sharing You

It's all about remembering you. It's so easy to lose sight of our likes and dislike after marriage, and especially after becoming a mother. This has brought many women to my office seeking help. The feeling of being unimportant and overlooked breeds pent up anger, which leads to resentment.

Stop for a minute. Do you remember what you use to enjoy doing? Do you have friends you've neglected? When was the last time you did something for you...just because?
Are you the person he fell in love with, or are you the person you thought he wanted?

This is how I solved that dilemma years ago. When I realized I was not happy, I thought back to when I was a teenager. I wrote down everything I enjoyed during those years. I enjoyed reading, being by myself to think, playing with makeup, etc.. After going through my list, I added as many activities back as I reasonably could.

I learned to share myself with my family by showing them the real me.

Stop giving yourself away, and start sharing you. When you share yourself, you keep enough you to enjoy, too.

I'm Jet lagged

I can't believe it! I had so many plans for today. I feel like I have walked right into a brick wall. I had to call my Best, Best, Best Girlfriend and cancel our 11:30 lunch date. She was looking forward to hearing all about our trip, and I was eager to catch up on whatever. The last thing I heard her say before I crawled back into bed was, "Take care of yourself, we can reschedule later."

One excellent bit of information I have to report is: I only gained 1.5 pounds! I love how this diet keeps my metabolism high. I'm not taking any diet pills or anything like that. I'm just eating every 3 hours. I can tell you that this is the first vacation I have been on and not gained 5 or 6 pounds.

Time To Go Home

We've had a wonderful 6 days in Maui. The last day of vacation is always bitter sweet for me. It's hard to part with the Sapphire waters of Hawaii, but I have so much to return home to. I miss my Coco, family, friends, and all my clients.

It's time to return calls, set new appointments, and get back to my writing and other projects. I plan to have my book on CD soon. Some of my clients have found used copies of Abby's Between Girlfriends: A Sharing of Marital Secrets online.

Weddings & Honeymoons In Hawaii

For those planning on having a wedding, and/or honeymooning in Hawaii, here are a few things you should consider. The weather here is quite humid. You may want to keep that in mind when you are planning your hairstyle. I came to Maui with two-strand twists. I now have a two-strand twisted Afro. The most important information I can share is to remind you of the time change. Being tired can cause you to be irritable with each other. That's not a good way to start off your marriage. Being mindful helps, but getting enough rest is key. Between being tired and the humidity, arguments can start from little irritations. Beware, and remember to voice your feelings and concerns with respect for each other's feelings. Chris and I have learned to do this over the years.

Chris: "Tell them it would be nice to make the attire informal for their guests. They'll appreciate being able to wear shorts and sandals in this climate."

Me: "Okay." LTM (laugh to myself).

O Magazine!

Have you seen the May issue of O Magazine? The cover is beautiful! there's something about the way Oprah is blowing the bubbles. It's like she is looking right at you, following you with her eyes, and blessing you at the same time. No kidding.

When my copy arrived in the mail, I said, "Wow, that's pretty", and laid it on the counter. But every time I passed it, I felt as if I was being blessed... I can't explain it. I'll tell you what I did. I went to Hobby Lobby and purchased (at 50% off) a beautiful 8 X 10 picture frame. That's right. I framed the cover of the May edition of O Magazine. I have this thing about everything having a place. When something touches me like that, I find a place for it in my life.

So, now I have my "picture of blessings" sitting across from me on the bookself in my office. Everytime I glance at it, I feel she's saying, "I see your work. Keep it up." I can feel the positive energy in the room. I'm glad I took the time to follow my Spirit. Now, I have a nice addition to my office.

Sunday In Maui

I thought more than once today, "This truely is paradise." We drove to Haleakala National Park. The Island of Maui is made up of two volcanos. The volcanos rise from the ocean floor. Haleakala is the largest of the volcanos standing 10,023 feet high. It means house of the sun. It took us half the day to complete the drive.

The second half of the day we drove to Iao Valley State Park. Spectacular! We are planning to go back to Iao Valley to picnic and swim near the waterfall.

3 Hour Diet Tip

Many of my clients ask me how I am able to keep up with my meals as busy as I am. My secret is setting the count down mode on my cell phone to go off every 3 hours. I have one premarital couple that knows when their session is over because my timer is set to go off at 4:30. He always says, "Time for a snack!"

Saturday In Maui

Our first full day in Maui started with waking up at 5:00 AM. We did a 30 minute workout. I followed my 8 Minutes In The Morning fitness book by Jorge Cruise. He breaks it down into 2 exercises each day. Each exercise is done 4 times, with 12 reps each. I finished up with time on the treadmill waiting for Chris to finish his workout.

After getting dressed for the day, we were off. We spent the day (9:30 - 5:30) driving the famous Hana Coast. We passed many tour buses, but we enjoyed the freedom of driving ourselves. The scenery was spectacular. During one of the stops along the way, Chris climbed boulders to get a good picture of the waterfalls.

On the way back from Hana we stop at an Open House. The cost of living in Maui is much higher than Dallas. An example would be a new 1,819 Sq. Ft. frame home for $559,000.

Breakfast: Denny's (2 egg omelet with cheese, mushrooms, bell peppers, and tomatoes; half of an English muffin; and 1 tsp. of butter)

Snack: Honey & Oats Granola Bar*

Lunch: Burger King (Whopper Jr., Side Salad, Non-fat dressing)

Snack: Honey & Oats Granola Bar*

Dinner: Out Back (3 oz. Salmon, 1 small baked potato, 1 pat of butter, and steamed vegetables)

Snack: Honey & Oats Granola Bar*

*I brought the Honey & Oat Granola Bars from home

The Bonus

Chris remembers his way back to the Open House we saw on our way to Hana.

Me: Wow, you have a great memory!

Chris: Bbbaby, if I just remember my name...that's good enough for me. Everything else is a bonus.

Me: LOL LOL LOL LOL, can't stop!

Meal Planning Solved

It actually worked out perfectly. When we arrived in Maui at 4:30 PM, we picked up our rental car. On our way to the Sheraton Maui Resort & Spa, we stopped at Costco. We bought a case of Arrowhead water, and a bunch of bananas. I was able to get all my water in for the day. I ate grilled veggies for dinner.

We were so tired after the flight, but a good nights sleep took care of that.

Meal Planning Dilemma

8 hours in the air. Wow! Got to love it. I’m eating every 3 hours on Dallas time (CST). That means my last meal is around 9:00 PM. I’ll be finished with all my meals for the day by the time our plane lands. This is the dilemma, when we get to Maui it will be 4:30 in the evening! Now, work that out. I’m not drinking the 8 glasses of water on the flight for obvious reasons. I’ll catch it up tomorrow. Or maybe get the 8 glasses in this evening in Maui. I don’t know how my body is going to react to this time change. I like challenges. We’ll see.

Waiting for Flight to Maui

We were waiting on the plane for our flight to Maui to take off. The wait was about an hour, because the weather in Dallas was stormy. It was the perfect time to have Chris read my blog entries. He had been busy with work and traveling, so he hadn’t had a chance to see what I’d been up to. While sitting there he said, “Let me see what you got.”

Well, he read and read. As he read, he smiled, laughed, and smiled again saying, “You’re telling everything. You’re not going to have anything else to say.” I laughed as I thought, “He just doesn’t know, I have so much to say!

Men just don’t get how much we really do need to express, how much we have to say, and how we don’t mind saying it. They are the ones not wanting to express themselves. We learned to respect that by not telling them all our thoughts (at once), but if they’d let us, we know how to tell it like it is.

Now, sometimes they are up to listening to us go on and on, but they just can’t hang in the deep waters like the girls. They would drown. Deep conversations on a continuous basis are not his idea of a good time.

Understanding our differences and being okay with us and them too is the best part of a good relationship. So I blog, blog, blog... I hope you like to swim.

I've Lost 17 Pounds

As of this morning, I've lost 17 pounds! My Best, Best, Best Girlfriend and my therapy clients are losing the pounds, too! This diet is amazing. It has made a believer out of me, so I'm sharing.

For 6 years I was a high school counselor. During those 6 years I was either attending night school, seeing clients under supervision in the evenings, or seeing client in my private practice in the evenings. The high school had 3 flights of stairs that I would climb them 5 and 6 times a day. I never believed in sending someone to get the students I needed to speak with. I always went to them so they could stay in class as much as possible. Needless to say, the movement helped me control my weight, somewhat. But in June 2008, I left the school district and went into practice full-time. Well, I'm sure you can imagine what happened. Yes, I sat listening to my clients, one after another, and not getting home until 9:00 PM. I enjoyed every minute I spent with my clients, but the weight was piling on.

I can't tell you how hard it was to get the weight off. I was working with a slow metabolism, which I thought was because of my age. It seemed to get slower every year. Well, Jorge Cruises and The 3-Hour Diet book have taught me something different. It's not my age. It never was. My slow metabolism was due to the many quick weight-loss and fasting type diets I had been on in the past.

What I like most about the 3-Hour Diet is I can eat anything, but I have to eat every 3 hours, period. The book tells why this is so important. All I can tell you is my metabolism is fired up. I have so much energy now. It is awesome!

On a personal note: Dad, don't go buy the book. I had a copy shipped to you yesterday. This is the book I was telling you and mom about Easter. Love you both!

Enduring Tough Times Together

I remember, back in the early 80's when we had to close our business, file Chapter 11 bankruptcy, and find a job. Chris and I were in our mid 20's with two small children. We both worked in Redmon Delivery Service, where Chris and our employees made deliveries for the World Trade Center and interior designers here in Dallas, and I answered the phones and did the bookkeeping. When we closed the doors, we both had to find jobs. Those were difficult times. Many of the things we were use to and use to doing, we couldn"t afford anymore. But as hard as those time were, we stuck together, and never blamed each other for what we were going through.

I remember a group of friends inviting us to dinner one weekend. We barely had $3 between us, but we wanted to get out of the house and just forget about stuff for awhile. Chris' mother kept the kids for us, and we joined the group. Our friends had steak dinners, while we shared a half order of fries, and made lemonade with water, lemons, and Sweet 'N Low. We were so happy to be out of the house, we sat shoulder to shoulder talking and laughing the whole night.

I know many couples are stuggling right now, but I can honestly say that we are the couple (and individuals) we are today because of what we endured back then. It wasn't easy, but we learned to trust God, and we looked out for each other emotionally.

MTV & Me

I got a call from MTV a couple of weeks ago. They had a couple they were filming for one of their True Life Docuementaries. The couple had gotten into a fight while filming one of the episodes. The couple said they needed help. The producers (out of New York) vowed to find them a therapist in the area.

Days after I received the call, the couple (from Dallas) and the camera crew (from New York) were in my office. And I tell you.. it was lights, camera, action! By the end of that 2 hour session, everyone was in tears (camera crew included). They have more filming to do, and I agreed to continue helping the couple. The segment should air mid-August, September time frame. I'll keep you posted :-)

Counseling With Her Partner

Me Venting: A week and a half ago a potiental client called upset. Stating that she needed to get into counseling with her partner. I was booked for the week, but she didn't want a referral. We agreed on Saturday. Yes, the day before Easter. I called Friday, yes Good Friday, to confirm. Her phone had been disconnected. Of course I had to go to the office not knowing if she would honor the appointment, or not. What's your guess? Did she show, or not? Not. I waited my customary 15 minutes and off I went to do my errands.

My Healing Thought: I will only come in contact with those I am suppose to meet. If a person does not show up, the interaction was not meant to be. All Things work together for my good.

Coco Chanel

This is my Coco

For years I wanted to get another Chihuahua, but Chris was not in agreement. To his credit we did travel a lot at the time, and the kids (2- one of each) were finally grown and gone and we were free. Every once in a while, I'd ask, "Can we get a dog?" The answer would alway be, "C'mon, we don't need a dog." After a while it became a game to me. I would just ask, already knowing the answer. And then, one day I asked the famous question and the answer was, "Are you sure that's what you want?" I can't remember anything else between getting a newpaper, circling ads, making calls, Chris driving us to the ones I wanted to see (5), and driving from Elmo, TX with Coco Chanel in my lap. All that took place between 11:30 AM and 6:00 PM. I was not going to take a chance on Chris changing his mind.

Oh, I do remember one thing about that blurr of a day. We walked in to see the litter of 8 weeks old puppies. The owner put them on the floor. I tried holding each one to get a feel for their energy. My selection came down to two. I had one, and Chris was sitting on the porch with the owner's husband with the other one. I went inside for something, I can't remember what. But, when I went back outside I saw the most beautiful site. Coco, all one and a half pounds of her, was reaching up and licking Chris on the chin, and he was just taking it all in as if it was the most natural thing in the world. That's when I knew she was going home with us.

Coco is 8 months old, now (born August 10, 2008). She is a long hair, applehead, teacup weighing in at 2-1/2lbs. She looks at me sometimes like, "What took you so long to find me?" And, my heart is always saying, "Thank you for showing up." Now I understand how Oprah feels when she talks about her dogs.

Oh, and guess who else is in love with my Coco? Shhh!

Easter Egg Hunt

It turned out to be nice enough for the kids to have their Easter Egg Hunt outside. Only one incident of stepping in the mudd. My niece told us about a lady who colored a certain number and color of eggs for each child. The kids could only hunt for their color. They were finished when they found the number of eggs designated for them. What a teachable moment!

My diet? Yes, I stayed on it. I had a smoked chicken breast, 1/2 hamburger bun, my cucumber salad, and a lettuce and tomato salad with olive oil. I snacked on a granola bar 3 hours later.

Coloring Eggs for Easter

I just finished coloring the last of the Easter Eggs. I still color eggs the "old fashioned" way. Food coloring, vinegar, and boiling water is all I use. I always line the egg carton with green Easter grass, and set the colorful eggs on top. My two grandsons (5 and 6), granddaughters (3 and 4), and their cousins (same ages) can't wait until time to find the hidden eggs. It'll be interesting to see if we'll be able to hide them outside this year with all the rain we had overnight. I was picked to take the cucumber salad (cucumbers, red onions, vinegar, mayo, and Sweet and Low) and 2 packs of hamburger buns. It'll be about 20 of us eating and having fun. The diet? I plan to stay on it...We'll see.

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