A Sharing of Marital Secrets- Excerpt #71

#3 (Part 2 of 3)
As I learned to stop nagging and keeping tabs on what Craig needed to do, I realized I had a big void in my life. I had spent so much time and energy being his personal reminder, I hadn’t taken time to concentrate on me. In other words, “I had to get a life.” Now that my mind was free from so many self-imposed responsibilities, I had more time to develop my own interests. And you know what? Craig has managed just fine without my constant reminders, and I feel more like his wife than his mother.

Not only does a man hate being nagged, he hates fussing and fighting. Proverbs 17:1 in The Living Bible says, “A dry crust eaten in peace is better than steak every day along with argument and strife.” And, the King James Version says, “Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than a house full of sacrifices with strife.”

I work very hard not to let anger linger between Craig and me. We work through the emotional hurt until we both know that we are not holding harsh feelings for the other. Holding onto hurt and pain causes barriers between couples. Open communication handled respectfully is the only way to understand how your partner feels.

Also, I cannot stress how important it is to have a smooth running household. When things around the home are in order, guess what your husband feels? He has confidence in you as being capable, and that earns his respect. When he sees that you have things under control, it frees his mind to take care of those things he needs to do. I know I’ve talked enough about being organized, keeping a daily planner and making lists, so I’m not going to bore you (or even nag you about it). Just remember, when you run an orderly household, it makes life easier for you and your family. It’s a skill worth practicing.

Tying in with this, your home should be clean and tidy, or at least as much as possible. Can you imagine your husband slipping away to the other woman’s home? Sure, we don’t want to think about it, but I doubt he would find dishes in the sink, clothes and toys on the floor and the bed unmade. Don’t you think it would be a place made ready for passion? Remember, this is a woman who is trying to convince your husband that his life would be better and more fulfilling with her. She is in direct competition with you for your husband, and sometimes men fall for this trap. If your husband comes home night after night to disarray and unpleasantness, he may find a haven of comfort with his escape to the “other woman.”

I tell you what, though; it’s more than a matter of order and cleanliness that lures husbands away. It’s the whole package of preparedness that the “other woman” offers. Her house is clean and presentable, and she is fresh and sexy. He can sense that she has prepared for his arrival. He feels important, respected, honored and appreciated. Get the picture?

This is where a lot of wives miss the boat. We get so accustomed to being around our husbands, we take them for granted. And that’s the first thing we wives say, “You take me for granted.” But I think the reverse is true; we take our husbands for granted. Think about it. When he comes in from work, do you stop what you’re doing to greet him? Does your husband feel more like an interruption than a day brightener?

More than likely, a husband comes home to a messy house only to be nagged all evening for not helping clean. I bet he didn’t get this from you when you were dating. And I bet he wouldn’t get it from the “other woman.”

To Be Continued... Copyright 2000 by Abby Gail Smith (pen name of Robbie S. Redmon) All rights reserved.
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